Wednesday, February 27, 2008

No Day of Rest for the Wicked

There was a major crime wave in Benton County on Sunday. Even Ronnie's Mega-Tabernacle has not been able to reach the wretched who continue to violate the laws against nature and property. No one reported Wal-Mart for unfair labor practices, and no cops were arrested for downloading porn or fondling children or barnyard animals, but there was crime and sin nonetheless.

The Bentonville Police Department records reveal that Edith Berue reported Sunday, just before church, that a man stole two tasty T-bone steaks from Braum’s. After church, rapture watchers reported a suspicious plane flying low over the Bentonville Wal-Mart Supercenter. No arrests have been made in either incident.

In Rogers, the police received a report from an unidentified caller who said a license plate was stolen from a government vehicle at 4608 W. Walnut. Only two minutes later, Luke Lindsey reported that a male was playing peek-a-boo and looked over the dressing room door at a female in the J. C. Penney store on Belview Road.

Maybe next year Sheriff Andy Lee will post the Ten Commandments on the city limits signs entering Bentonville and Rogers, so the good people once again can rest peacefully in the assurance that nothing bad will happen therein. Until then, keep checking the Northwest Arkansas Crime Report.

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