Friday, November 26, 2010

To Serve and Protect

The Springdale City Council stepped up this week and protected the people from not being able to drink more alcohol before driving home. Declaring an "emergency to exist," they unanimously amended the City Code to allow bars to stay open three hours longer and serve beer, wine, and mixed drinks until 2:00 a.m., even on Sunday, because it was "necessary to preserve the health, safety, and welfare of the citizens of Springdale."

Was this ordinance necessary to prevent a dehydration pandemic with an epicenter in Springdale? Was the Council influenced by campaign contributions from Drunks Against Mad Mothers? Was it an effort to balance the city budget with increased DWI fines and ambulance charges? No, they said, it came to their attention that local barkeeps were at a competitive disadvantage in selling alcohol, having last call at 11:00 p.m., while Fayetteville dram sellers could continue purveying their potions until 2:00 a.m.

No doubt, this will make drinking in Springdale comparable to drinking in Fayetteville. This should be welcome news for all the drunks who don't like paid parking on Dickson Street. They can now punish Fayetteville merchants and find a Springdale dive more to their liking with free parking and far fewer people.

Fatty Hackers on South Thompson Avenue -- It's the New Dickson Street!


  1. .

    There they go again. First it was beer at Rodeo of the Ozarks. Then beer was allowed in Socialism Baseball Stadium and now wild and wicked times carrying over into Sunday morning, clearly a day when any half righteous Christian knows that those who violate the Sabbath should rightfully be stoned to death. Baptistdale is never going to be the same now that we've lost the liquor fight to messicun dance halls.


  2. I don't need no relief. I just go to Macadoodles, buy a case of beer, sit in my room, download porn, and drink until 3 am. I can do that in Springdale as well as any of those college boys in Fayetteville.