Tim is Waiting for You in the Cyber Crib

Dear Sheriff Fife,

Time and again, you have convinced us that your presence in office will continue to interfere with workplace harmony and public dignity. One way to eliminate a public disruption/distraction problem is to replace the person or persons who have caused the problem. One way to improve the efficiency and effectiveness of an organization is to elect people who will be able to do a better job or will be able to do the same job without making our county look like a bunch of repressed hillbillies living in 17th century Salem. These are political decisions. We will have other choices for the Sheriff’s position in two years. We have decided to replace you with an employee who will not ignore the harassment complaints of female employees, fire female employees for non-workplace activities, and generally make our top county law enforcement officer look like the love child of Barney Fife and the Church Lady. We are choosing to elect a person who we believe will better our ability to get our legitimate government work done -- in a manner that is both effective and efficient -- without any more harmful national publicity like you brought to our county last year when a female defendant was locked in a closet and forgotten for four days

PS. Get off the computer. Stop checking and rechecking Jessi's pictures.